Thanks everyone for joining us! And come back tomorrow, when we storm the show floor and get up close and personal with all of our favorites from today and whatever surprises pop up.
Oops, nope, nevermind, he's gone.
There's still a small chance a chopper will break through the ceiling to carry Ballmer away.
And now we're done, going out with some polite applause and thank yous. Bowing out quietly, gracefully, uneventfully.
Ballmer: METRO, METRO, METRO. And of course, WINDOWS, WINDOWS, WINDOWS.
Which, yes: Metro might be late to the party, but it's going to be a cross-platform beast.
"There's nothing more important to Microsoft than Windows," says Ballmer.
Kinect, BING Bing Crosby Binge.
All I heard for the last 30 seconds was BING! BING! BING!
Buuuuuut looks like we won't be talking about that now. Instead: on to BING.
Oh now we're talking Skype. Interesting to see how aggressively Microsoft is going to integrate it into existing products.
BUT WHAT ELSE IS GOING ON AT MICROSOFT, Ryan asks. NOTHING, GO AWAY, Ballmer fires back. Kidding. Ballmer talks Sync and Office.
Kinect is coming to Windows on February 1st.
Seriously there have been at least three moments during this keynote when I was sure I was having some sort of fever dream.
This is chaos.
Cookie Monster and Grover are counting coconuts, which reminds me that I'm in the process of losing a foolish bet on Grover and the under.
Okay, probably not.
This is not the first time they've demoed this, for those keeping score. But this may be the first time they demo it with PYROTECHNICS.
Demoing Kinect Sesame Street TV, small child on stage looks very precocious.
"We're working with some of the world's best-known brains" for the next generation of Xbox. Which they're about to show off some of RIGHT NOW. Hopefully via gospel choir.
Xbox Live Fox app will show favorite Fox shows and some WSJ and other News Corp content live and on demand, premiering this year at some point TBD.
Props for showing us the game Microsoft.
Showing off live ESPN, which reminds me that I'm in the process a maybe foolish bet on LSU.
Why is shouting at a cold machine better than gently depressing your thumb, I guess is what I'm saying.
So now seems like as good a time as any to ask: with Microsoft, Samsung and (maybe, rumoredly) Apple all pushing for voice-activated TVs... is that, uh, something you actually want to do?
"Xbox: BING Josh Duhamel." Okay, now that one sounded dirty, no?
Because in the demo, he is definitely saying "Xbox, BING Stark Trek."
Oh man do they really make you use BING as a verb?
Time for an Xbox demo of the UI overhaul that launched back in December.
Microsoft has shipped over 18 million Kinect sensors. As they integrate BING into Kinect and Xbox "it'll really transform" the TV experience.
I wish that had been the drinking game instead of Bing.
Seriously though a gospel choir just came out and sang tweets for like six minutes.
Back to reality. Ballmer: We have over 40 million Xbox Live subscribers.
Okay I think they're done. They just held a note for a really long time and people are applauding so yes. But my goodness.
Don't go out like this Microsoft. THIS IS YOUR LAST KEYNOTE.
They are very good singers, though! Points off for saying "oh my god" when the tweet clearly said "OMG."